Yesterday was my youngest sons 23rd birthday. 23 on the 23rd. A friend, attending his party, informed me it was his ‘golden birthday. I looked it up. It was. I had no clue there was such, always thought it neat when it happened that way, (once in a life time) but never knew it meant anything.
Evan was actually due October 8, and with my previous pregnancies reaching exactly 40 weeks, (yes even the first who they say was ‘early) I did not expect Evan to come the week+ earlier. My pastor/boss and youth pastor/other boss both had predicted the 23rd, separately. I laughed at the coincidence and explained to them, if I went to 39 weeks I would surly go the 40 weeks, with this one too. The 9 AM of the 23, I was in the beginnings of labor, and Dave, pastor/boss called to see if I was on my way to the hospital, I was a bit peeved that he was right. Soon after he called, Keith made it home from his graveyard shift and we went into the hospital.
Hindsight of my pregnancy with Evan show sticky notes from God, everywhere. Prior to even becoming pregnant. Keith and I had discussed # 3 for about 3 years, just after #2 turned 2. We did not want the kids too far apart, age wise.We did not want to be in our 30’s having kids. I wanted 3 or more. Keith wanted 3 or less. Brian was now almost 5 and I felt it was getting to be a big space if we did not do something quick. I knew Keith was getting too comfortable with just 2. The graveyard shift at the PO and the PO was taking it’s toll on Keith. It was affecting our marriage. We were broke all the time. Brian was in the beginnings of his medical mystery malady (celiac) we had lots of medical expenses and worries. The answer seemed to be another kid, 😉 to me. God knew what we needed. Evan.
So New Years Day 1989, after a night of celebration, the boys staying with grandparents, and then we too, because the trip home was too much at 3am. We celebrated and conceived, because the diaphragm was at home on the nightstand. Calculation calendars confirm, 1/1 conception to be due date 9/24- The ‘deal’ made that early morning, between Keith and I: (by his prompting) If we did not conceive, I would drop this want for another baby. Thank you God!!!!
I wondered and prayed for about 2 weeks, I am a woman of my word, and I was afraid I had just removed my chances of having another baby (preferably a girl).One 6AM, still groggy I turned on the shower and I felt a voice say “ Life as you know it is over.” This is one of my two times in life I have definitely heard that Still Small Voice, God, speak to me, audibly. Laugh if you want, but I know. The meaning, the knowledge that came from that statement covered much. I knew I was pregnant. I knew this baby would be more ‘impactful’ that the other two. It was a bit foreboding. I remember telling a friend of my ‘voice’ that day, so I could have a witness, I think. The first question was if it was an ‘all good’ feeling, I told her yes and no. I felt it was exactly as stated, our life would change, our perspective of it. And it did.
I did a home pregnancy and it was positive, made the OB appointment, for 6 weeks in. Started planning for that little girl. Because I KNEW that is what God meant, at first. What else would turn us upside down, but a girl, after having 2 boys? We had insurance with this baby (#2 had none) so we had a sonogram at 12 weeks. They said they might be able to tell sex. They did. Evan showed us his junk right away. I cried on the way home. I really wanted a girl. I knew this was my last chance.
I got over not having a girl pretty quickly. I LOVED my boys, it was sooooo fun having their rambunctious selves. Their cowboy boots, jeans, whooping and hollering. The way they had fun and only cried when hurt. They were tough and not whiney. They loved to cuddle and wrestle and I did not have to braid or curl their hair in the mornings. I remembered the relationship, or lack of, I had with my mom. Remembered the battles my girlfriends and I had with all of our moms, the hormones. Boys were/are my blessing from God!!
My pregnancy was fairly uneventful, as they all were. I do pregnant well. They did check me for extra fluid at one time, because I was measuring so large, did extra special sonograms. Turns out, the other two pregnancies had let me be a bit more elastic I guess, so I ballooned more. I think now, hindsight, this was the opportunity missed, for us to see Evan’s cleft/malformed mandible. This was far enough in the pregnancy they should have seen it. Alas, hindsight.
More of the issues Evan got to have are posted on Evan K.
I have been blessed beyond understanding. Evan has taught me what ‘normal’ is. Normal is conforming, normal is living for the expectations of everyone else. Normal is fitting into man’s mold. Exceptional is what God allows us to be. Evan is exceptional. Through Evan, God has shown me man is limited by man, not by God. God has shown me through Evan what it means to be strengthened by Him. That the weakest, by man’s standards, is made strongest by God.
Evan hopes for more than he has, a CDL, a new car,a girlfriend, a wife, children, his hopes do not diminish, even when the reality of his hopes seem impossible. Evan does not get depressed. He does not complain. Evan has shown me what it is to be content.
I have learned unconditional love from Evan. Evan does not receive love from many, but he gives it to all. Evan also know’s what it is to love the creation he is in God, something I have struggled with most of my life.
Evans Birthday is a celebration of his birth and my rebirth.
God put it perfectly, the day he told me of his creation in me, “Life as you know it is over.”