Posted in Exhort Pray Praise...

The God of Peace Be With You

 Phillipians4:4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Have you witnessed the peace that passes understanding? Those who have had husbands, wives, children die and they quote scripture and speak of the joy the loved one is experiencing, and the day of being reunited. The one with a terminal disease who is more hopeful and joyful than you, (whose only complaint today is too long a wait at the grocery store). Have you wondered on, or even criticized another for their lack of distress at the loss?  The world tells us we should wail, and beat our chests. We should stop eating, singing laughing, living, when we have trials. The world says we should be overcome by this world that comes against us. Yet God tells us to rejoice in the Lord.Always.

26 years ago between  September and December of 1989 my reasonableness was questioned.

September 23, our third son was born with Pierre Robin Sequence. In Midland they were clueless as to what to do with him choking on his tongue when he cried, so they decided to tie his tongue down. Turns out the surgeries they did in the first 2 days of his life actually did him more harm than the tongue in the way did.E with button

Our second son, who was 5 ,at this time was having what we called attacks, he had been having these since he was 2. He would go pale, his heart would race and pound so hard you could see it in his little chest. He would not be able to move for a few hours, for the pain. (5 years later found it was esophagus spasm aggravation from Celiac disease) Every 2 weeks we would race to the ER to meet the pediatrician who would scratch his head and send us home till the next time.   Scan 127

The Midland doctors insisted we gavage feed Evan, running a tube through his nose and pump in the milk.  Not being able to breast feed, I pumped, for about 5 weeks, until I realized the big boys needed mom time more than Evan needed breast milk.

Evans specialist/surgeon was in Dallas, a 5 hour drive from home. He was an excellent doctor, and probably reason Evan still here today, but ….. The instruction he gave us on the care of Evan,when he untied the unnecessary tongue adhesion.  Until his chin grew and he became strong enough for cleft surgery “ Lay him on his stomach, so he does not choke on that(tongue) and hope he keeps breathing.”

Keith worked graveyard shift at the Post office. Leaving me each night to put everyone to bed, and wake too often alone to see if the baby was still breathing.

Just after delivering the baby, while still in the hospital I had my tubes tied. The last trimester of the pregnancy I had a HORRIBLE chest cold and cough. The air they pumped in during surgery put too much pressure on my ribs that had been weakened from the coughing. I sneezed and cracked a rib, the week after I delivered.

Then, six weeks after Evan was born, on November 1, my brother, Kirk, fell in his driveway and hit his head. He died 2 days later. We dropped our older boys off at a friends house, and drove to Austin, sat in the waiting room of ICU for 2 days, with family and friends, and Evan laying on his stomach in a stroller.  We said goodbye, until we meet again,  to Kirk on November 3, drove home to get boys and drive to funeral ‘at home’ in Lubbock. Scan 13

We moved to a new home by Christmas and hosted that for all the family. Mom and Dad and brother Mike and Kirk’s fiance. Evan was not thriving well, he could not eat and breath at the same time, and burned everything he took in trying to breath. I stupidly agreed to his first immunizations, and he had a horrible reaction the the DPT and MMR-

Scan 128

A couple of days after Christmas, the boys were playing with a new friend across the street, Lee came running in the house screaming Brian was hurt, bad. A little Tikes car had fallen on him.He had a compound fracture of his arm- both bones. (he had weak bones from that damned undiagnosed celiac)

Sometime during this time of tribulation, I was in conversation with my still mourning mom, she voiced a concern my cousin had for me. My cousin herself had been through some stress, a divorce, a move, a job change, and per some counseling advice and a Readers Digest article, I was due a nervous breakdown  According to the experts having more than 3 major life changes, good or bad, you were in danger. I had at least 10, mostly bad, which got you more points.

I look back at this time, and about a year beyond of a bit more and remember the sadness, but not despair. I remember the loss of dreams, and even some hope, but not faith. I know I prayed for healing of my brother, and cried the healing was not for us to experience. I remember my concern for my children’s health even the fear of losing them, yet never afraid. I cried, I sobbed, I questioned why. I prayed.  Yet I never panicked. Never did I lose my mind, my heart, my strength. I was actually stronger then,than I think I ever was. I had THAT peace.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Evan has something about him that blesses those who know him. IMG_4723Celiac is EASY to fix, just don’t eat wheat and we are healthy. All of grandchildren who have Celiac have not had to endure the illness and damages from undiagnosed Celiac, as Brian did.  DSCF3431

Brian is a healthy strong brilliant godly husband and father. DSCF3418 Bones heal.DSCF3144Heck, all my boys are Godly Men!

Kirk’s daughter is a gorgeous successful mother of 2 daughtersimage_6.

Evan choked on food when he was  10 months,  and because I had gavage fed him I was able to assist the paramedics in finding his airway, when they could not. Scan 67

Evan was almost 9lbs when he was born, this weight sustained him during the time he could not eat well.

I am an expert on gluten free living, and have somewhat of an income from that.  i do

In all things, even the most heartbreaking, I can rejoiceDSCF3138. Tribulation is for a moment, and that peace that passes human understanding is eternal in Him.   DSCF3058

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”If you don’t have that peace, it is not hard to get– It is a gift.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,DSCF3014

 

Posted in Adoption

“Please Don’t Kill the Child”

“Please Don’t Kill the Child”.

Reblog from fellow blogger.  We must stand against abortion, not just accept it as something of this society.  Some believe as long as they don’t believe in abortion, as long as they disapprove  that is enough.  It is not.

Will abortions be eliminated? No. Will women still get abortions if they are illegal? Yes. Will they get bad dangerous abortions? Yes, and their choice.

Just as drinking and driving is illegal. I bet more disapprove of drinking and driving than of abortion. It still happens, and still many are killed because the law is broken. BUT less do drink and drive because it is illegal, because they will have legal consequences to deal with.

My biological mother told me, if abortions had been legal when she was 16 and pregnant, she would have had one.  The stigma of unwed motherhood was much more in the 60’s, she endured a lot of judgement. She is a believer, she sinned by having sex, unwed, she was not going to add to that by breaking the law and having an abortion. What about Gods law? Thou shalt not murder? Man’s law, trumps that. The Word says to obey your government.  Messed up? Yes. But a young girl who has disappointed her family, her church, her society gets messed up. And desperate. Giving them the green flag to kill ‘the fetus’ is an answer to desperation.

10 lives and one on the way, and more generations to come exist because abortion was illegal 50 years ago.  My bio mother continued to live a life, had a marriage and children and grandchildren. My parents(adopted/real) my siblings have generations more because of adoption, not abortion.

Posted in Exhort Pray Praise...

Hey Batter Batter

“But God can throw us curve balls.” This was added to a text from a friend as she was explaining her hope for good test results.

Too many times I hear statements like this of our Father. Believers making God the reason for all things that happen in this world, good, bad and otherwise. God being the one responsible for the trials we face, because He orchestrates everything. God is our Creator. God is our Father. God is our Savior. God is not our destroyer.

God does not throw curve balls. God is not in the position of trying to get us out of the game. God is not on the opposing team.  God is not playing with us, nor competing with us. To put God in the place of the pitcher or an opposing team player we bring Him down to our level. God is not equal to man, we are not equal to Him. We sin. We fail. We get hurt. We compete to get on top, for our glory.

In the baseball analogy, God would be the commissioner. ( and a bit more, the inventor of the game and not elected by man and never makes mistakes). God makes up the rules, He explains the rules, in His Word. The rules explain how to play the game.  The commissioner  sets the standards of being on The Team. God applies the consequence to offenses. He creates justice.  God is over the coaches and teams, even the one opposing coach and team.  There are two teams. The opposing team and the believing team. The Believing team’s coach is the Holy Spirit, who happens to be really close to the Commissioner.  Those who don’t believe in the rules and regulations of the Commissioner, are just spectators. Those spectators have opportunity to join the eternal game, anytime, but they have to abide to the rules and believe in the Commissioner.

The commissioner is not subject to the powers of an owner, nor a coach. The description of the baseball commissioner on Baseball Almanac can describe our God well.Beyond the obvious jobs of coaches and players, there are countless support and administrative personnel facilitating the “behind the scenes” aspects of the sport. Since its inception, professional baseball has appointed one top executive, the Commissioner of Baseball, to oversee the entire operation and maintain the integrity of the game. Unfortunately, like most public officials, the Commissioner is often forgotten in times of prosperity, yet the first to be blamed when problems arise. It is a job that requires not only a tremendous love for the game, but also an even greater patience for the media.

The curve balls of life are thrown by the opposing team, this sinful world. Satan is coach of this team and he has a damn good pitcher. The balls thrown are illness, physical death, famine, debt, wealth, pride, success.  We are given instruction on how to or if to hit these balls if we have the faith to believe in the instruction and the Commissioner that gave us instruction we know what to do with these pitches. Sometimes we will panic or don’t take the signals from our coach, and swing at balls we aren’t to swing at and we strike out. Not out of the game, but back on the bench for awhile.

The Commissioner is in charge of it all, yet  He does not; throw the balls, catch the flies, swing the bats, yell from the dugout, tell the pitcher what to pitch, hire the umpire, kick the dirt, make bad calls, hit home runs…… God created it all, set it in order, and maintains the integrity of His creation. Unfortunately He is often forgotten in times of prosperity, and is the first to be blamed when problems arise. It is a job that requires not only tremendous love but also greater patience.

Posted in 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 14

Spiritual gifts are gifts from God. The exist and only through God. I have heard it said that we can possess only one gift, or that God gives one specific, and then will bless with other gifts in times of need.  I am not sure why those teaching on gifts need to set man made rules and interpretation on the gifts from God, I personally do not read God’s Word to say one gift per believer.  In 14:1 it says to desire giftS, especially prophesy. This sounds like it is for us to only ask and want and God will give.  I think the most important thing to know is God does gift us with spiritual gifts, to do HIS work, for HIM. Once a believer, we are given the tools by our Father to walk our walk well. 

14 Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy. For he who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God, for no one understands him; however, in the spirit he speaks mysteries. The ‘tongue’ here does lean to being a language for God. IF in this circumstance it is, it is obvious it is not meant to be a bunch of mumbo jumbo BABBLE in front of a bunch of men. It is praying, speaking conversing with God, and I still think in OUR own native language.   But he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men. He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church. To have a gift, such as prophesy, that allows one to tell of God, His Word, the meaning of His Word, is a gift to everyone.  I wish you all spoke with tongues, but even more that you prophesied; for he who prophesies is greater than he who speaks with tongues, unless indeed he interprets, that the church may receive edification.  Paul wants everyone to converse with God, but more so to speak God’s Word to others. 

But now, brethren, if I come to you speaking with tongues, what shall I profit you unless I speak to you either by revelation, by knowledge, by prophesying, or by teaching? Even things without life, whether flute or harp, when they make a sound, unless they make a distinction in the sounds, how will it be known what is piped or played? For if the trumpet makes an uncertain sound, who will prepare for battle? So likewise you, unless you utter by the tongue words easy to understand, how will it be known what is spoken? For you will be speaking into the air. 10 There are, it may be, so many kinds of languages in the world, and none of them is without significance. 11 Therefore, if I do not know the meaning of the language, I shall be a foreigner to him who speaks, and he who speaks will be a foreigner to me.  First remember the attitude of these people, many think they are ‘better’ than others, because of their prestige, and possibly because they can MAKE themselves speak mumbo jumbo and claim it is ‘God’ speaking through them.  SECOND: IF tongues is ‘God’ speaking, how is that of use to anyone if no one can understand.  So instead of getting attention for yourself by babbeling, speak the TRUE words of God, to explain God’s wants of man. 12 Even so you, since you are zealous for spiritual gifts, let it be for the edification of the church that you seek to excel.  Addressing the attitude again, don’t make up a gift blessing that is useless, ask for one that is for others. 

13 Therefore let him who speaks in a tongue pray that he may interpret. 14 For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my understanding is unfruitful. 15 What is the conclusion then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will also pray with the understanding. I will sing with the spirit, and I will also sing with the understanding. 16 Otherwise, if you bless with the spirit, how will he who occupies the place of the uninformed say “Amen” at your giving of thanks, since he does not understand what you say? 17 For you indeed give thanks well, but the other is not edified.  If you speak in tongues, you need MORE, or you are useless.  Obviously saying there is more than one gift per person. 

18 I thank my God I speak with tongues more than you all; 19 yet in the church I would rather speak five words with my understanding, that I may teach others also, than ten thousand words in a tongue.

 

20 Brethren, do not be children in understanding; however, in malice be babes, but in understanding be mature.

21 In the law it is written:

“With men of other tongues and other lips
I will speak to this people;
And yet, for all that, they will not hear Me,”[b]

says the Lord.

22 Therefore tongues are for a sign, not to those who believe but to unbelievers; but prophesying is not for unbelievers but for those who believe.   It seems Paul is saying that tongues is a different language not mumbo jumbo. Seems he has found a nice way of saying you that brag about tongues are faking it. Like a bunch of kids pretending to speak a different language23 Therefore if the whole church comes together in one place, and all speak with tongues, and there come in those who are uninformed or unbelievers, will they not say that you are out of your mind?  If the Corinthians all stand around and speak mumbo jumbo, and unbeleivers come, they will not hear of God.  If a church denomination gets caught up in their own legalist rules of don’t do this or wear that, instead of just living out God’s true Word, then unbelievers will never hear the Truth.  24 But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or an uninformed person comes in, he is convinced by all, he is convicted by all. 25 And thus the secrets of his heart are revealed; and so, falling down on his face, he will worship God and report that God is truly among you.  Hearing the Truth and nothing but the Truth from those who live the Truth, one can not help but believe in the one true God

26 How is it then, brethren? Whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification. 27 If anyone speaks in a tongue, let there be two or at the most three, each in turn, and let one interpret. 28 But if there is no interpreter, let him keep silent in church, and let him speak to himself and to God. 29 Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others judge. 30 But if anythingis revealed to another who sits by, let the first keep silent. 31 For you can all prophesy one by one, that all may learn and all may be encouraged. 32 And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets. 33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.   Don’t compete to  be HEARD and seen. This is about GOD not you.  Let ‘new’ interpretations, and ideas be studied between other believers, don’t spout out every worldly thought, this only confuses those who are seeking the truth. 

34 Let your  women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. I HATE this.  I want to believe this is about these Corinthian women being over bearing and needing to find their place.  These Corinthians are messing up EVERYTHING in their church. BUT women, especially ‘church’ women over step their bounds more often than not, I think this pertains today, to all of us. 😦  Just think how much different things would be if Eve had just asked Adam, or if Sarai had discussed her fear of never getting pregnant with Abram, instead of giving him her servant 35 And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.  Shameful? REally Paul?

36 Or did the word of God come originally from you? Or was it you only that it reached? Don’t know if he is addressing women still.  I think this could be teaching for anyone who has tendency to interpret the Word to fit their agenda. AND to point out to ALL that God speaks the Word, not any MAN, EVER.  37 If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord.38 But if anyone is ignorant, let him be ignorant.  Remember ignorant is to be uneducated, not knowledgable of, it is not being an idiot. 

39 Therefore, brethren, desire earnestly to prophesy, and do not forbid to speak with tongues40 Let all things be done decently and in order.  

Posted in 50 in 50 days

46 days to 50- Age Old Question

What is my purpose in life? This is a wonder I think we all have at some point in our lives.

The  happenings of life,struggles, success’, trials,births, failures, tragedies,  deaths, interventions, blessings, the ‘Wonder Why?” of lives. 50 years of wonder has given me answer. 50 years of wonder has given me the reason for my happenings. To make purpose of me.IMG_1635

The purpose of life is to glorify God.Isaiah 43:7Everyone who is called by My name,Whom I have created for My glory;I have formed him, yes, I have made him.”I do that by becoming what He intends me to be.  He is the potter I am the clay. Isaiah 64:8 But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand.  The happenings; His hands on my life, my yeilding, or not, to His molding, the water, the temperature, the air flow, the glaze, the firing,all of this is what makes me. The difference in me and clay, I have a choice to conform-Believe,obey,abide.

The Negatives and positives happenings are necessary to make our purpose.

James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

It is Satan that brings our doubt. Satan/the world has taught us that no good can come from the bad. This is not true.This leads to hopelessness.  We have to put away that way of thinking ,that doubt   Ephesians 4: 22 to oput off pyour old self,6 which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through qdeceitful desires, 23 and rto be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on sthe new self, tcreated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. And once we remove the doubt we can literally do all things.

 Matthew 21:21So Jesus answered and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ it will be done.

My being adopted is a happening,God purposed to make me me.  Satan has used it to throw (wonder)doubt of my need for existence.

Why didn’t my bio mother keep me? Why did I have to be ‘abandoned’? Why do I exist, since my own did not want me? Am I an accident to even God? If I am then I was not intended to be. What purpose is there in me, in my being born, if no one wanted me anyway?

What a bunch of crap Satan has dished out in doubt!!  God planned me even if my bio’s did not. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God created me on purpose Psalm 139:13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

For purpose Colossians 1:16b all things were created by him and for him Ephesians 2:10 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them

My adoption has shown the purpose for 50 years.  I can preach the value of, the meaning of unconditional love, because I received that from my parents, my family. I know what that is.  I know what it is to be adopted to become what you were not born of. I understand the relation  believers have with our adoption from sin/Satan to our Father God.  I have witnessed the mighty hand of God in His reaching past mans laws and choices to bring my bio’s and me together. I know reconciliation as the prodigal son. I know faith hope and grace because of my adoption happening.

Trial happenings in : Evan  born with congenital deformity, and more. Kirk dying 6 weeks later. These trials added to the at least monthly dashes to the hospital with Brian’s ‘attacks’ from, what we years later found were, esophagus spasms from ulcers from untreated celiac. The  question “Why does God do bad things to us?”  was presented to me sometime in the midst of this. Had it not been for the happenings of great mentors (Mamaw, Mamie, Dad) and teachings from God in the past  I would not have known the answer. God does not do these bad things. God does not cause the ‘bad’ on purpose, but he does make purpose out of it all.

Evan. He has purpose, is purpose, gave me purpose. He was predicted to be exceptional even before he was born, none expected that included him being ‘less than perfect’ by the worlds standards.  That lack of worldly perfection has shown me, and others God measures perfection by different standards than we. I learned God speaks audibly, I just have to listen. God speaks, sometimes I just don’t understand. That does not make God wrong, nor me. I just need to learn to understand. What he says, like Evan is not always what I expect, but it is right. Evan asphyxiated and died and was brought back to life, 3 months after his cleft was repaired. I was on my knees in my home, as the paramedics were trying to find an airway, I cried out “ You just gave him back, why are you taking him.” God responded as loudly as those calling out from the bedroom, that they had an airway “ I am not TAKING him, he is always mine.” God speaks, in volumes. This statement meant more than Evan was now breathing.

Kirk dying at such a young age, was not what God desired for him. But ,choices made, led Kirk’s physical life to end here.  God saw the whole picture, Kirk reached his purpose with God. Kirk is eternalScan 125, the love he had from and of God will exist in his art, his music, our hearts, his daughter and grandchildren. John 10:27 nMy sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 oI give them eternal life, and pthey will never perish, and qno one will snatch them out of my hand  My fears of death were relieved as I mourned my brother, and wondered if my 6 week old son would survive.  God makes a purpose OF our tragedy.

The happenings of my children. Gives me purpose.  God showed me his purpose for me and my existence, his perfect purpose and design for my children,  in each conception. There was opportunity, before marriage for me to have become pregnant, I had ‘unprotected’ sex before I was married.  My son’s were each conceived through 1 ‘try’ without protection. With each pregnancy a prayer was for each to have exceptionally beautiful eyes. Each do, and each exceptional. Lee has almost black eyes deep and always smiling,IMG_3186 Brian has hazel eyes, huge with gorgeous lashes, brian and his 3Evan has  blue eyes framed by dark black lashes.DSCF3014  I prayed for my third baby to have O blood, not wanting him to suffer through the ABO factor my other two did, because their being A and myself O. Evan has O blood. My happenings have taught me prayers are answered no matter how small. Ask and I shall receive.

The Celiac/gluten intolerant gene that courses through our blood, a happening that has effects for myself, my son, my family and everyone that I can reach. The years of searching for a diagnosis and cure, strengthened our faith in God. We learned we could not, should not depend on man to heal, the great healer is God and the doctors only a tool. I see the miracle in Brian’s health and growth in spite of horrible illness The strength and courage God placed in that little boy was inspiring.  God gave me the desire and will to accept this life change, as a positive, for us all. We have been given many opportunity to share and support. Lives will be changed, maybe even saved, because we have been blessed with gluten intolerance.  John 15:16–1716 You did not choose me, but zI chose you and appointed you that you should go and abear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that bwhatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

The house that God built. Building our house happened. We were given the opportunity, the resources to build the house beyond our dreams. God placed the idea in our hearts. He educated us in Financial Peace. We learned to rely on God for everything; the sell, the profit, the workers we hired, the weather,the 5th wheel we found comfort in for a year, the design of the home, the materials we bought. I literally stand on the firm foundation everyday and know HE is my Provider, my Rock.

Life could have happened differently. Bio’s could have married and kept me. Mom and Dad could have ‘taken me back’ at the 6 month trial time. Kirk could have laid on the couch instead of going outside and falling in drive. We could have ignored Brian’s illness, and just pumped him with meds. I could have skipped giving Evan the food he choked on. But that is not how it happened. God knew that before it began. God knew the wrong decisions I would make, the few right ones too He knew the hurts I would suffer. God has provided the fixes and strengths all the while to make me a vessel for Him.

The ultimate strength, the major happening,  is the snoring lump I wake up next to every day. I would not be without him. He really does complete me and I him. fall 1980Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  16 years into my creation, the Potter added Keith, at the lake in cowboy boots and a swimming suit.  I was weak and mushy making all kinds of bad decisions and pretty much alone, I needed someone, I needed direction, I needed strength, so God added Keith, the polymer to my clay. Of all of the happenings in my life Keith is the only one that would not have happened differently. Maybe a different time or place, but I know Keith and I were planned by God specifically. Eve for Adam, Sarah for Abraham, Rebekah for Isaac Christy for Keith… all planned specifically by God, for God.IMG_2315 My purpose on this earth is to be Keith’s, his lover, his helper, his irritant, his support, his adored, all for the glory of God. Ephesians 5:23 (23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its SaviorDSCF3002

PURPOSE: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists

The REASON God threw me on that wheel 50 years ago?

Ephesians 14 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.

Posted in Rants Raves

Holy FRiJOLES

As my favorite book character Skippy Jon Jones would say– Holy Frijoles!  I have bEEEEEN BEEAZY!   I have really missed blogging for a bit! I have blogged so many wonderful informative thought provoking, inspirational, posts in my leeeetle brain, If only this website had a direct link.

Since my post of Evan going in the hospital, about 2 weeks ago:

  • There has been 102 hours for Evan in the hospital,
  • 72 for me sitting in the room with him waiting for 10 minutes of conversation with the MD.  The other 30 hours I was either sleeping or driving to or from the hospital.
  •  I shopped with Keith at a very picked over Hobby Lobby for tree #2 for his facility.
  • Went to see A Christmas Carol at our local Theater, with some ‘company folk’Our nephew, who just moved to Midland, is performing in it, so it was an extra treat.
  • Friday I went and put up tree # 2 at Keith’s work.
  • I have gone to Sam’s twice.
  • HEB twice.
  • Natural Grocers once.
  • Target.
  • Walmart.
  • Kirklands twice.
  • Super Mercado, twice within 20 minutes.
  • Pharmacy, twice,
  • Academy once.
  • I have done 3 loads of clothes,
  • 3 loads of dishes,
  • swept 3 times,
  • cleaned 3 bathrooms,
  • cleaned out 2 refrigerators,
  • cleaned my closet floor 2x.
  • I was Evan’s voice to Albertsons so he could get back to work (he needed release forms signed by doctor, I had to explain to Evan, he did the actual getting of though
  • Erin, our #4 grand, had a horrible reaction to her antibiotic, her parents called us 1AM Monday, to come and watch the other 2 while they rushed E into ER, a shot of benadryl and steroid, they were back by 4 AM
  • I did a phone interview for Glutino Ambassador Monday (I got it).
  • Made pretzel bark,
  • Made artichoke dip,
  • Set up for party.
  • Church.
  • Cleaned up after Keith’s cookie making.
  • 2 Wednesday’s with Law so he does not have to do the nursery ‘again’.
  • Walked only 6 miles :(.
  • Did 100 sit ups.
  • Attended a funeral.
  • Threw tumbleweeds.
  • Played in hospital halls with Law.
  • Had a bit of a hangover.
  • Restarted Dukan, today.
  • Fell off of Dukan, today.
  • Read Judges.
  • Thought of lots to say.
  • Emailed Christmas plans to family, again.
  • Changed clothes a billion times.
  • Brought Evan home.
  • Helped him ‘move’ back home.
  • Reposted sell of his car on Craigslist.
  • Raced Law to toilet to poop twice.
  • And a partridge in a pear tree

I think I got a bit cocky about my having it all together, prior to Evan’s hospital stay. I had many empty days, and was going to steal grandchildren and play, and look so ‘together’ and cool this year. And blog.

Well now I have NO empty days. But lots of accomplishments, and blessings instead!

Keith changed jobs 6 months ago, from 26 years of postal. The party was of/for  those that work with Keith, a great bunch of people. Blessed

All of those in our home for the first time, the compliments of the house that God built, with our hands, a sweet reminder of what God has given us. Blessed

The day of the party Keith used another day of vacation he ‘had’ to use. He spent the day with me preparing for the party. Keith cooks with me, laughs with me, cleans with me, provides everything, Blessed

We attended a funeral of a dear, great friend, John Pass, kindest man (next to my dad) I think I have ever known. He lived a long life blessing others. Lives like John’s make me ponder my own, I have a lot to do.To have known John. I am blessed.

Yesterday we had a sandstorm beyond what many will ever experience. s. 40 mile winds constantly with gusts probably above 60. It cleared the tumbleweeds off of the property, they were stacked over 6 feet tall and about 6 feet deep across the gate this morning. Today I threw tumble weeds over the fence, until I got too choked up from allergies. Where is the blessing? No damage and It is not blowing today!Blessed!

Today as I threw the tumbleweeds over the fence, I was thinking how impossible it would be to clear all 10 acres of tumbleweeds, but with them all piled on the same fence line, not so hard. It still took some work on my part, but God got it all lined out for me now. Blessed

Evan is back at work. Albertson’s was wanting for him, needing him to return, the holiday time is busy at a grocery, you know.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder as well as need.  I think they saw how much Evan actually does do. A cashier was telling us she has been concerned over how he had been looking lately, she obviously had been paying attention to him. Evan himself has found that they really do like him, and need him. Blessed

Evan is working Christmas Eve, which puts a snafu in our Old Petty Christmas Eve, but he gets off at 6:00, in time for the candlelight. Blessed

The whole ulcer thing is a blessing. The ‘Cry Wolf’ thing I wondered on, I had actually decided Evan was a complainer/cryer. I was wrong. I will admit it. I love that I was wrong about his character!  Evan has taken eating, or not eating wheat VERY seriously now! Albertsons now sees Evan as a dilegint worker, he works through the pain, he wants to get back to work ASAP, a quality employee! Not to forget, this ulcer did not perforate and cause more damage! Evan could be still in the hospital or even worse, dead, IF the pain had not beat out the perforation.

Yes, blessings make me bEEEEEzy. I have all of my children, all of my grandchildren, my husband. I am busy because I have it all.

Posted in Evan

Happy Golden B Day Evan

Yesterday was my youngest sons 23rd birthday. 23 on the 23rd.  A friend, attending his party, informed me it was his ‘golden birthday.  I looked it up. It was.  I had no clue there was such, always thought it neat when it happened that way, (once in a life time) but never knew it meant anything.

Evan was actually due October 8, and with my previous pregnancies reaching exactly 40 weeks, (yes even the first who they say was ‘early) I did not expect Evan to come the week+ earlier.  My pastor/boss and youth pastor/other boss both had predicted the 23rd, separately. I laughed at the coincidence and explained to them, if I went to 39 weeks I would surly go the 40 weeks, with this one too.  The 9 AM of the 23, I was in the beginnings of labor, and Dave, pastor/boss called to see if I was on my way to the hospital, I was a bit peeved that he was right. Soon after he called, Keith made it home from his graveyard shift and we went into the hospital.

Hindsight of my pregnancy with Evan show sticky notes from God, everywhere.  Prior to even becoming pregnant.  Keith and I had discussed # 3 for about 3 years, just after #2 turned 2. We did not want the kids too far apart, age wise.We did not want to be in our 30’s having kids. I wanted 3 or more. Keith wanted 3 or less. Brian was now almost 5 and I felt it was getting to be a big space if we did not do something quick. I knew Keith was getting too comfortable with just 2. The graveyard shift at the PO and the PO was taking it’s toll on Keith.  It was affecting our marriage. We were broke all the time. Brian was in the beginnings of his medical mystery malady (celiac) we had lots of medical expenses and worries. The answer seemed to be another kid, 😉  to me.  God knew what we needed. Evan. 

So New Years Day 1989, after a night of celebration, the boys staying with grandparents, and then we too, because the trip home was too much at 3am. We celebrated and conceived, because the diaphragm was at home on the nightstand. Calculation calendars confirm, 1/1 conception to be due date 9/24-  The ‘deal’ made that early morning, between Keith and I: (by his prompting) If we did not conceive, I would drop this want for another baby. Thank you God!!!!

I wondered and prayed for about 2 weeks, I am a woman of my word, and I was afraid I had just removed my chances of having another baby (preferably a girl).One 6AM, still groggy I turned on the shower and I felt a voice say “ Life as you know it is over.” This is one of my two times in life I have definitely heard that Still Small Voice, God, speak to me, audibly. Laugh if you want, but I know.  The meaning, the knowledge that came from that statement covered much. I knew I was pregnant. I knew this baby would be more ‘impactful’ that the other two. It was a bit foreboding.  I remember telling a friend of my ‘voice’ that day, so I could have a witness, I think. The first question was if it was an ‘all good’ feeling, I told her yes and no. I felt it was exactly as stated, our life would change, our perspective of it. And it did. 

I did a home pregnancy and it was positive, made the OB appointment, for 6 weeks in. Started planning for that little girl. Because I KNEW that is what God meant, at first. What else would turn us upside down, but a girl, after having 2 boys? We had insurance with this baby (#2 had none) so we had a sonogram at 12 weeks. They said they might be able to tell sex. They did. Evan showed us his junk right away. I cried on the way home. I really wanted a girl. I knew this was my last chance.

I got over not having a girl pretty quickly. I LOVED my boys, it was sooooo fun having their rambunctious selves. Their cowboy boots, jeans, whooping and hollering. The way they had fun and only cried when hurt. They were tough and not whiney. They loved to cuddle and wrestle and I did not have to braid or curl their hair in the mornings. I remembered the relationship, or lack of, I had with my mom. Remembered the battles my girlfriends and I had with all of our moms, the hormones.  Boys were/are my blessing from God!!

 My pregnancy was fairly uneventful, as they all were. I do pregnant well. They did check me for extra fluid at one time, because I was measuring so large, did extra special sonograms. Turns out, the other two pregnancies had let me be a bit more elastic I guess, so I ballooned more. I think now, hindsight, this was the opportunity missed, for us to see Evan’s cleft/malformed mandible. This was far enough in the pregnancy they should have seen it. Alas, hindsight.

More of the issues Evan got to have are posted on Evan K. 

I have been blessed beyond understanding.  Evan has taught me what ‘normal’ is. Normal is conforming, normal is living for the expectations of everyone else. Normal is fitting into man’s mold. Exceptional is what God allows us to be. Evan is exceptional. Through Evan, God has shown me man is limited by man, not by God. God has shown me through Evan what it means to be strengthened by Him. That the weakest, by man’s standards, is made strongest by God. 

Evan hopes for more than he has, a CDL, a new car,a girlfriend, a wife, children, his hopes do not diminish, even when the reality of his hopes seem impossible. Evan does not get depressed. He does not complain. Evan has shown me what it is to be content.

I have learned unconditional love from Evan. Evan does not receive love from many, but he gives it to all. Evan also know’s what it is to love the creation he is in God, something I have struggled with most of my life.  

Evans Birthday is a celebration of his birth and my rebirth.

God put it perfectly, the day he told me of his creation in me, “Life as you know it is over.”

Thank You God, for every golden day with Evan.