Posted in Evan

Challenge post 16 – A picture of someone who inspires you

I have changed this Day Challenge to Challenge post– I blog when I steal time. Don’t ask me what I am doing that keeps me from blogging every single day- I don’t know!!

Any way, challenge post 16- Someone who inspires me.

Looks can be deceiving.  I don’t suppose to many this guy looks exceptional. He actually looks a bit goofy, most of the time. How could he be ‘inspiring’?

This is Evan, my 22 year old son. Not the best looking of the three, not the smartest of the three. And by worldly standards not the most successful. Compared to the rest of the family, it does not seem like he has much to inspire anyone with.

Evan though is an inspiration to me, and could be to just about anyone who bothers to look. This young man has dealt with more exclusion and prejudice and judgement because of his outward appearance than I will ever have to, than most of us will ever be dealt. You may think it ‘okay’ because he really does not understand. Not an excuse but many times we do allow such behaviour because the recipient is not aware of the treatment. This is not the case of Evan. Evan has the mental capability to understand. Evan is not mentally disabled, he does have some learning disabilities from brain injury from a stroke, but this has not affected his ability to understand. Evan has to work a bit harder to comprehend some things, like money and numbers. Evan has to work harder to make the words get from his brain to his mouth. Evan has to think about swallowing all the time, or he drools. Evan has to turn his head to see to the left, glancing does not work. Evan has to decipher conversation that comes at him, words like the, that, more, less, when, where, how, etc just don’t compute for him. He took the drivers test several times because words like curve and turn mean the same to him, but they do not on the test. Evan has to smile a crooked smile, due to nerve damage, when his ‘friends’ at church discuss the gathering they will have soon, and who they have invited or need to invite, and never include him. Evan lives a life in the middle. He is not normal enough to be included and he is not disabled enough to be included. But he includes himself anyway. Evan has to repeat himself many times, sometimes never being understood completely, just to pay a compliment. Having a conversation about his wants, his interests, just to talk, is not something he ever gets to do, people just don’t have the time to listen.

Me? I exclude myself from so many things because I just don’t fit in. Or I don’t converse because someone in the group has been rude or talked badly about or to me. I am self conscious of my fat belly. I try to camouflage my wrinkles. I concern over others thoughts of my blog, my writing, my art, what if they don’t like it? I don’t attempt because I fear failure. I am not friendly for fear of rejection. I excuse myself from speaking to others whether it be gluten free talking or sharing the Gospel, because they may not understand.

Evan has so much less to inspire with, yet he does a much better job than I ever have.

Posted in Keith

31 years (+) with the same Dude.

10,950 days, +about 150 for the pre months of ‘sin’ – about 103 for the trips/business out-of-town and – 5 times HE really screwed up, I have woken up  next to my Keith.I can’t ‘notch’ the sex the same way. I think I could honestly say about half that.  Keith will probably disagree. But this is my logic- On average about every other day now. ABOUT. 30 years ago about every. ABOUT. Then add all the  marathon days, anniversary’s, hotel’s without kids, business trip ‘reunions’, make up for HIS big screw up’s, after being sick . Subtract the three child-birth recovery no sex times, but that NEVER lasted as long as MD suggested. Not to mention the pre marital …..Yep I think we can get to 5,400, EASY. Same dude.

Keith is my soul mate. Keith is the one. Keith is my better half.Keith is a pain in the ass

The Man I married- Lost a bet and his moustache- Still smiling

. Keith is who God planned me to be with. Keith is my perfect match. Keith is my polar opposite. Keith is irritating. Keith is my comfort. Keith is my antagonizer. Keith is my best friend. Keith is my protector. Keith is my inspiration. Keith is my exasperation. Keith is my laughter. Keith brings me joy. Keith has given me my deepest sorrow. Keith is my love. 

The day I met him August 8 1979 was conspired by God, my life changed for ever, for the better ,that day. The day I promised forever to him, July 11,1981, is my blessing from God. I am complete.   Love ya, Babe.

Posted in Family

Happy 30 Lee! (My Little Guinea Pig)

July 10 1982 my little guinea pig was born. Lee is my first child, my first son. Lee is the first grandchild, first grandson of my parents. Lee was the first person I knew that was of my DNA.  Psalm 127:3
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

When I looked in his eyes that day, I had a little bit of me looking back, for the first time. Yes, they were his fathers eyes, my blood coursed through him.  So much so, he was very jaundiced by it. They call it ABO factor, he is A I am O, that don’t ‘factor’.

Lee was born 4 weeks before due date. But he was not ‘that’ early. Actually I believe he was ‘on time’ the test was mistaken four weeks prior, and proof was made 40 weeks later when he made his appearance in this world. I was in labor for 3 hours, it was not a ‘forced’ delivery. He was 6lb 4oz and 21 inches- Kind of a spider monkey, he might have stayed ‘in’ another week and chubbed some. Lee does not wait for anything, still.  

Keith and I were young parents, by many people’s ‘standards’. But not ours. Keith and I were both the babies of our families. Our parents were in their 30’s when they got to us. Our closest siblings in years is 6 years older and our furthest is 11 years older. We were both, actually the LAST’s, instead of the babies. We are a bit independent, and pretty much do things the way we want. It seems like we wanted a baby within hours of saying “I Do”, me 18 and Keith 19, so 3 months later we ‘wanted’ no more.We had insurance, we had jobs, we had a one bedroom apartment, we had a car payment, we had Keith’s 57 ford pickup, we had a marriage license, it was time for a baby. 

Keith wanted ‘him’ to be conceived on a camp out- So he was. I did not want him to be born on my anniversary, so he was not, he was born the day before. ;).

I call Lee our guinea pig, because it sounds better than lab rat. Our being the last’s meant we were clueless on babies or anything younger than we. Our parents neither did a lot of parenting training with us, I am not sure any do. We read a few children raising books, but being the kind that do things pretty much the way we want to, we found a lot of ideas that could be made better, by us.

I chose to breast feed , it made sense to me. Cow and cats do it, why shouldn’t I? Why mess with all those bottles and the sterilizing and buying formula when it is all right there hanging off my chest? Practical.In 1982 breastfeeding was a ‘new’ thing. It seems to skip a generation, you know. The grandmothers were not in full approval of it. Lee loved it, would not take a bottle, EVER. Titty baby. 

We started solids when he was 6 months old and ‘Viola’ he started sleeping through the night….. We were not the organic only healthy no sugar eat completely balanced meal type. Lee ate what we ate, usually. Sometimes he had different ideas, though.

Lee went everywhere with us. Movies, dinner, weddings, parties, grocery store. Very few times did he ever stay with anyone. One reason, was he did not take a bottle and he ate every 2 hours around the clock, till he was 6 months old. Yep, that scheduled feeding thing was something I must have skipped over in my readings. The other reason we had him with us, is because we wanted to. Lee was our kid, he went where we did. We did the same with all of our children. “Us”  does not mean husband and wife, it means family. 

Our guinea pig  introduced us to many things to know as parents, the many uses of appliances

The fun of steps

Who needs a motor boat to go so slow….

Lee gleaned some from us,
And through these thirty years Lee has chosen to wear many different hats,  and looks good in them all.  He has taken many different roles and succeeded in all. 

There are plenty of things we didn’t do by the ‘books’ in our parenting of Lee or Brian or Evan. Most things. These are our kids, not Dr. Spock’s. Our kids are a gift from God, he gave us the instructions of how to raise them. Did we make mistakes? Yes, and most of them were NOT being hard enough, not being tough enough, because we did not want them to suffer the consequences of their decisions. Proverbs 13:2424 He who spares his rod hates his son,

But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.  Today Lee has his own kids, his own wife, his own family, his career, his own home. Lee is a leader in his church. Lee is a Godly man. He does it good, with mistakes.

I do know that no mistake was made 30 years and 9 months ago, by that 18-year-old woman and 19-year-old man.  Happy Birthday Lee!

Proverbs 20:7
The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.