Posted in Bible Study, Ephesians

Ephesians 1:1-22

Ephesians 1 New King James Version (NKJV) Ephesians 1 Greeting 1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, To the saints who are in Ephesus, and faithful in Christ Jesus: 2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Redemption in Christ 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

Long sentence. 3-5.  We are blessed with every spiritual blessing spiritual blessing-  in the heavenly places in Christ- In Christ we were given blessings just as with his authority and in the heavenly places, before earth was created, he chose us- that we SHOULD BE   holy and without blame. He chose us to be adopted, become his children (because we are not if we are not prior to becoming believers) I personally do not read this as fact of “predestination”.   Everyone is intended to be adopted, but I think we can choose not to be.  MY quick predestined theory: God being the beginning and the end does know our future and our choices and our (pre) destiny.

7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins,- we are saved and forgiven because of his being and death  according to the riches of His grace 8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, – His grace is abundant to us 9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both[a] which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. I read that 10 is ‘the mystery’ and that is we will all that are in Christ will be gathered together as one  11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, In him we have inheritance 12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. We who trusted meaning not everyone will. 13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise,  trusted after you believed “after you heard” . Received Holy Spirit with belief.  14 who[b] is the guarantee of our inheritance Holy Spirit is our certificate of inheritance with Christ until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory. 15 Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, 16 do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding[c] being enlightened; Praying FOR wisdom, revelation,understanding, of HIM  that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power 20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places,Heavenly places mentioned again. 21 far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. Jesus has taken his place above all, powers, angels, saints etc.  22 And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, 23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Posted in Adoption

Being Adopted

For me there are two stories of my adoption. The why and how I became an adoptee and the life of being adopted. In observing other adoptee stories the majority have similar why and how’s, especially we adopted as infants. The ‘being’ adopted differs in the circumstances of the family we become, just as each life differs, being adopted or not.

We adoptees do all possess something alike, something to possibly battle or have shadow us. I have noticed that some seem to embrace it, and use it as their excuse for what ever negative behavior they choose, or negative anything that enters their lives. Others may feel it, encounter it, as they try to develop relationships,grow as parents, as spouses. They will stumble and wonder on worth, and hopefully come out all the stronger on the other side. The ‘IT’ that we all have in common, is our being given away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, given to a mother and a father (usually). Given to a stable home. Given to a better life. All of this IS better than  being raised by a teen/single mom, parents not ‘ready’, drug addict, rape victim who resented, any parent who does not choose to keep their child. If a parent can find a reason to give up custody of a child, and believe in that reason, whether it be selfish, unselfish, logical or illogical, then the child is better with some one who desires to have them.  It is exactly that, though, that plays with an adoptees mind, the bio parent reasoned to give us away.   Because, if the bio’s really wanted they would found reason to keep.  We keep the best out of the a litter of puppies. We go to counseling to keep from leaving a spouse. Parents risk incarceration and break custody court orders, just to keep their children( sometimes their dogs). I have kept kittens from litters, and sobbed when I gave the others away, when I already had too many cats. I have given home to dog’s dumped on on the street to add to my to many others.  Parents who have no money and too many children. who have no business having any more keep their 6th ‘little accident’ and find a way.  It is those things that I notice, and I really think all adoptees glance at, at least once.

My parents always explained to me the self sacrificing choice my biological mother made, how she loved me so much she did give me to be adopted. I believe that.  My mom and dad (as do I) understood the courage it took for this unmarried16 year old to stay  pregnant  in the 60’s (anytime actually)they knew she could have chosen another way to deal with the pregnancy. They knew the strength it took for her to sign a paper saying she would give her child, to complete strangers. The child that she carried for 9 months, felt growing inside of her, and delivered with much pain. The child she held and held and looked into eyes like her own, or the ‘he’ that was gone. Giving to others, with the hope that her child would be loved with a love as big as the love she was not allowing herself to have. My parents were able to convey this to me. I believe my incubator mother to be a saint. A Joan of Arc. I love her for giving me to  my family. I am not angry with my bio mother. I am not angry with God.No anger at all.  Bio Mother did nothing TO me, she actually did for me. I thank God for my creation.

I have met my biological family and I know the circumstances of before and after my birth.  I know I could not have been ME, with all my genes, without D & L conceiving me. My conception would have been impossible,for just a year after my birth my bio father died.  God created me to be. Under whatever circumstances. God did not make my bio’s have premarital sex. He did not make my bio mother choose to not abort. God did not make her put me up for adoption. God did not create me to be adopted. God blessed the adoption, He blessed me with great parents.  IF I had been aborted, they probably would have been blessed with another baby girl to adopt.  I am not stomping my  foot at God, I am so aware of His blessings, and thank Him always for them.

Being adopted and being a receiver of unconditional love has given me an appreciation for relationships All of my family has/have loved me and cared for and about me because I am ‘theirs’. I do not need to be from their gene pool to receive this love, they all choose to see me as ‘them’ and love me as them.  Having my bio put aside her own feelings, suffer stigma, so I could be born, then deny her maternal love and give me to the hope of a better life than what she had to offer, I know what sacrificial love means. I have witnessed a pure, unselfish, humble love through my parents, by their never being ‘prideful’ for the good deed they did to take in the poor unwanted child. They always knew me to be a gift from God, the pride they felt was to have received the blessings of their children, my brothers and I.  With my being adopted I see the travesty committed by so many who  take their families, their loves for granted. They place conditions on the love they give the love they receive. Families cut ties, stop speaking, refuse relationships. Waste blessings from God.  Being adopted has given me more than anyone not adopted can imagine.  I am blessed beyond measure, and I know it.

Still, though, I become forlorn. I wonder, what if, she had kept me? Would my mother that raised me and loved me as her own and I have had the same conflict if I had actually been her ‘own’?  Would I be more secure, less afraid of displeasing others if I had been ‘kept’? Why is it that my bio mother and I don’t visit, don’t have a constant relationship? Is she ever sorry she gave me up? What could have been? What does it feel like to completely and absolutely belong? Does everyone feel misplaced or is it just adopted souls? Or is it just me getting hung up in some old dead ‘tree’?

Posted in Adoption

Adopted

A new section to this blog, been in the plan since the beginning, yet I have not deposited to it yet, is my Adoption section.  It so needs to be here. I have found through the years of my long adopted life, many just do not ‘get’ adoption.  Nor do they appreciate adoption, being adopted, unconditional love, acceptance, tolerance, not being adopted, biological inheritance, family, parents, God’s amazing plan as they should.

Hello, my name is Christy Petty aka Baby Girl G. and I am adopted. I have been adopted all my life. I know no other way of being. Adopted to me means the same thing as right handed, instead of left. Which I am. (My kind of poetry)

Those that are not adopted, don’t get it. There are those who experience it, adopted parents (THE parents) adopted siblings (THE siblings) spouses of and children of adoptees who learn ‘it’ and understand. But those not having adoption in their lives really do not understand, I have experienced this.

I have had people look at me with sorrow filled eyes feeling so sorry that I was a poor orphan.  I have had, and still do have some ask me about my ‘real’ parents. I have had my parents referred to as Foster parents, and step parents, by ‘educated’ people who really should not be so ignorant. All of this does not anger me, nor hurt me, it is really out of ignorance, of not ‘getting it’.

I do get a little peeved when I hear comments like, “They don’t have children except those they adopted.” Or “No one can love another child as much as their own blood.” Or “They always had problems with that one, because he/she is adopted.”

The media will report horrendous child parent murders with the description, if it is so, the child was an adopted child.  WHY is this a factor?I would bet there are more child/parent murders that involve bio children on bio parents.

So, to start off– don’t feel sorry for me, or any adoptee. Nothing to feel sorry for me, or any adoptee, about. Actually we, I , have been blessed, more than the average bio on bio person.

Let’s look at it. I was conceived, just like anyone else. My father and mother were 15-16. Not like all other parents. But like some. My mother in her young age made actually a very UNselfish decision to not abort. Not like some other mothers. My mother made another UNselfish decision, to give the baby a chance to a normal life. Not like some and like others. My parents, that would adopt me, desired a daughter, and could have no more children, they chose to adopt instead of trying for that 3rd. My parents had hearts that contained unconditional love, that never saw a difference between my  brothers, who were biological, and I, other than I was their baby girl they my boy brothers.

These are the easy to see easy to explain in a short posting blessings: Conceived. Young mother being wise and unselfish. Parents desire, and unconditional love.

You see, instead of knowing I was not wanted, I know I was.  Instead of thinking they HAVE TO love because I was born to them I know they choose to love me because I wasn’t.

I see other families and I realize not only were my parents amazing unconditional lovers, but my whole family, aunts, uncles cousins, grandparents was exceptional.  My family had disfunction issues, as everyone’s does.  There was a tilt in the perfect balance always. Power struggle, manipulation, self centered, disobedience, all the normal issues that go on in family relations. BUT never ever were there any times anyone was disowned, shut out, ignored or not spoken to.  Never did anyone ever say a disparaging word about another to another to ‘take sides’. We never ‘talked about’ or ostracized siblings, cousins, aunts uncles, cousins spouses,. We did not even disown my sister in law when she divorced my brother.    So many families do these things, I hear too often of someone having not spoken to sibling, parents, children because they just don’t like em, or they did something embarrassing or…. Never has it been a real good reason, to me.

Never ever has there ever been a time I did not feel as if I was one of ‘them’. If my adoption is ever raised, it is only when I mention something ‘adoption’ and a family member ‘remembers’ my being so. Never have I feared being dissed by my family.  I know we are all a family of great character, and wonder if only these type of people can be adopters. I think so. I know if you are the ‘other’ conditional lover kind it would be very very hard to be real good, or good real parent to an adopted child.