Posted in Exhort Pray Praise...

The God of Peace Be With You

 Phillipians4:4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Have you witnessed the peace that passes understanding? Those who have had husbands, wives, children die and they quote scripture and speak of the joy the loved one is experiencing, and the day of being reunited. The one with a terminal disease who is more hopeful and joyful than you, (whose only complaint today is too long a wait at the grocery store). Have you wondered on, or even criticized another for their lack of distress at the loss?  The world tells us we should wail, and beat our chests. We should stop eating, singing laughing, living, when we have trials. The world says we should be overcome by this world that comes against us. Yet God tells us to rejoice in the Lord.Always.

26 years ago between  September and December of 1989 my reasonableness was questioned.

September 23, our third son was born with Pierre Robin Sequence. In Midland they were clueless as to what to do with him choking on his tongue when he cried, so they decided to tie his tongue down. Turns out the surgeries they did in the first 2 days of his life actually did him more harm than the tongue in the way did.E with button

Our second son, who was 5 ,at this time was having what we called attacks, he had been having these since he was 2. He would go pale, his heart would race and pound so hard you could see it in his little chest. He would not be able to move for a few hours, for the pain. (5 years later found it was esophagus spasm aggravation from Celiac disease) Every 2 weeks we would race to the ER to meet the pediatrician who would scratch his head and send us home till the next time.   Scan 127

The Midland doctors insisted we gavage feed Evan, running a tube through his nose and pump in the milk.  Not being able to breast feed, I pumped, for about 5 weeks, until I realized the big boys needed mom time more than Evan needed breast milk.

Evans specialist/surgeon was in Dallas, a 5 hour drive from home. He was an excellent doctor, and probably reason Evan still here today, but ….. The instruction he gave us on the care of Evan,when he untied the unnecessary tongue adhesion.  Until his chin grew and he became strong enough for cleft surgery “ Lay him on his stomach, so he does not choke on that(tongue) and hope he keeps breathing.”

Keith worked graveyard shift at the Post office. Leaving me each night to put everyone to bed, and wake too often alone to see if the baby was still breathing.

Just after delivering the baby, while still in the hospital I had my tubes tied. The last trimester of the pregnancy I had a HORRIBLE chest cold and cough. The air they pumped in during surgery put too much pressure on my ribs that had been weakened from the coughing. I sneezed and cracked a rib, the week after I delivered.

Then, six weeks after Evan was born, on November 1, my brother, Kirk, fell in his driveway and hit his head. He died 2 days later. We dropped our older boys off at a friends house, and drove to Austin, sat in the waiting room of ICU for 2 days, with family and friends, and Evan laying on his stomach in a stroller.  We said goodbye, until we meet again,  to Kirk on November 3, drove home to get boys and drive to funeral ‘at home’ in Lubbock. Scan 13

We moved to a new home by Christmas and hosted that for all the family. Mom and Dad and brother Mike and Kirk’s fiance. Evan was not thriving well, he could not eat and breath at the same time, and burned everything he took in trying to breath. I stupidly agreed to his first immunizations, and he had a horrible reaction the the DPT and MMR-

Scan 128

A couple of days after Christmas, the boys were playing with a new friend across the street, Lee came running in the house screaming Brian was hurt, bad. A little Tikes car had fallen on him.He had a compound fracture of his arm- both bones. (he had weak bones from that damned undiagnosed celiac)

Sometime during this time of tribulation, I was in conversation with my still mourning mom, she voiced a concern my cousin had for me. My cousin herself had been through some stress, a divorce, a move, a job change, and per some counseling advice and a Readers Digest article, I was due a nervous breakdown  According to the experts having more than 3 major life changes, good or bad, you were in danger. I had at least 10, mostly bad, which got you more points.

I look back at this time, and about a year beyond of a bit more and remember the sadness, but not despair. I remember the loss of dreams, and even some hope, but not faith. I know I prayed for healing of my brother, and cried the healing was not for us to experience. I remember my concern for my children’s health even the fear of losing them, yet never afraid. I cried, I sobbed, I questioned why. I prayed.  Yet I never panicked. Never did I lose my mind, my heart, my strength. I was actually stronger then,than I think I ever was. I had THAT peace.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Evan has something about him that blesses those who know him. IMG_4723Celiac is EASY to fix, just don’t eat wheat and we are healthy. All of grandchildren who have Celiac have not had to endure the illness and damages from undiagnosed Celiac, as Brian did.  DSCF3431

Brian is a healthy strong brilliant godly husband and father. DSCF3418 Bones heal.DSCF3144Heck, all my boys are Godly Men!

Kirk’s daughter is a gorgeous successful mother of 2 daughtersimage_6.

Evan choked on food when he was  10 months,  and because I had gavage fed him I was able to assist the paramedics in finding his airway, when they could not. Scan 67

Evan was almost 9lbs when he was born, this weight sustained him during the time he could not eat well.

I am an expert on gluten free living, and have somewhat of an income from that.  i do

In all things, even the most heartbreaking, I can rejoiceDSCF3138. Tribulation is for a moment, and that peace that passes human understanding is eternal in Him.   DSCF3058

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”If you don’t have that peace, it is not hard to get– It is a gift.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,DSCF3014

 

Posted in Adoption

“Please Don’t Kill the Child”

“Please Don’t Kill the Child”.

Reblog from fellow blogger.  We must stand against abortion, not just accept it as something of this society.  Some believe as long as they don’t believe in abortion, as long as they disapprove  that is enough.  It is not.

Will abortions be eliminated? No. Will women still get abortions if they are illegal? Yes. Will they get bad dangerous abortions? Yes, and their choice.

Just as drinking and driving is illegal. I bet more disapprove of drinking and driving than of abortion. It still happens, and still many are killed because the law is broken. BUT less do drink and drive because it is illegal, because they will have legal consequences to deal with.

My biological mother told me, if abortions had been legal when she was 16 and pregnant, she would have had one.  The stigma of unwed motherhood was much more in the 60’s, she endured a lot of judgement. She is a believer, she sinned by having sex, unwed, she was not going to add to that by breaking the law and having an abortion. What about Gods law? Thou shalt not murder? Man’s law, trumps that. The Word says to obey your government.  Messed up? Yes. But a young girl who has disappointed her family, her church, her society gets messed up. And desperate. Giving them the green flag to kill ‘the fetus’ is an answer to desperation.

10 lives and one on the way, and more generations to come exist because abortion was illegal 50 years ago.  My bio mother continued to live a life, had a marriage and children and grandchildren. My parents(adopted/real) my siblings have generations more because of adoption, not abortion.

Posted in 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 16 -DONE

I am getting er done!! Obviously I am the only one that enjoyed this study, since only I participated, it really was fun! 

This all began with Paul having to straighten out the WRONG WRONG WRONG thinking of the Corinthians, now he is closing the letter, taking care of the regular business as if they were not screwing up.  16 Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given orders to the churches of Galatia, so you must do also:2 On the first day of the week let each one of you lay something aside, storing up as he may prosper, that there be no collections when I come. 3 And when I come, whomever you approve by your letters I will send to bear your gift to Jerusalem. 4 But if it is fitting that I go also, they will go with me.   Take up offerings now so we don’t have to do it when I get there. 5 Now I will come to you when I pass through Macedonia (for I am passing through Macedonia). 6 And it may be that I will remain, or even spend the winter with you, that you may send me on my journey, wherever I go. 7 For I do not wish to see you now on the way; but I hope to stay a while with you, if the Lord permits.  Travel plans 8 But I will tarry in Ephesus until Pentecost. 9 For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries.10 And if Timothy comes, see that he may be with you without fear; for he does the work of the Lord, as I also do.11 Therefore let no one despise him. But send him on his journey in peace, that he may come to me; for I am waiting for him with the brethren.  Be nice to Timothy, don’t run him off. 12 Now concerning our brother Apollos, I strongly urged him to come to you with the brethren, but he was quite unwilling to come at this time; however, he will come when he has a convenient time. Apollos won’t come visit, and I assume he does not want to associate with such a messed up group of people, his choice, and seems Paul agrees with him. 

13 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done with love.15 I urge you, brethren—you know the household of Stephanas, that it is the first fruits of Achaia, and that they have devoted themselves to the ministry of the saints— 16 that you also submit to such, and to everyone who works and labors with us.  I think Paul is telling them yet again BE NICE because they have a tendency not to be. 17 I am glad about the coming of Stephanas, Fortunatus, and Achaicus, for what was lacking on your part they supplied. Lacking on your part seems to be pointing out that where they are failing spiritually to build up and help these others did so. 18 For they refreshed my spirit and yours. Therefore acknowledge such men.19 The churches of Asia greet you. Aquila and Priscilla greet you heartily in the Lord, with the church that is in their house.20 All the brethren greet you.Greet one another with a holy kiss.21 The salutation with my own hand—Paul’s.22 If anyone does not love the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be accursed.O Lord, come! Pretty black and white. 23 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. 24 My love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen.

Gods Word is alive today, it pertains to today.  Hebrews 4:1212 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.The Corinthians were full of pride and had changed the Word of God to meet their needs and to dismiss those they did not approve of. I do not know if all the Corinthians were believers. I don’t think so. I do not think all who ‘practice’ Christianity are believers.   Today is not different than the day Paul wrote the letter. Ecc. 1:19 That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun.   It would do us all well to abide to God’s Word, lest we be accursed. 

 
Posted in 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 15

This Bible ‘study’ has not progressed as I intended. I have not stuck with it weekly as I intended. I am sorry.  And I had  hoped there would be more (some)discussion between myself and my followers, but  nooooooooo. I have had a few likes and some follows, following each Corinthians post, so maybe my hopes don’t align with God’s plan.  After 15, there is just one more book of 1 Corinthians, so this will end this ‘study’.  I do have another in plan, but more on that when it comes! Thanks for hanging with me here!!

In 14 Paul was explaining to the ‘believers’ ‘church goers’ how to have productive services. The service is not about them and how much they know or think they know. Chapter 15 he seems to be telling specifically what the purpose of church meetings is. 

15 Moreover, brethren, I declare to you the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received and in which you stand, 2 by which also you are saved, if you hold fast that word which I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.  There is no need to discuss whose gift is better, if someone more important than another, when you have The Gospel of Christ to discuss.  Paul never runs out of ‘material to teach on, it is THE GOSPEL. That is what believing is about, that is why believers gather together . Christ. His life. His Death. His Resurrection. His purpose.  IF this is not why you gather, you believe then you missed the point, and possibly the boat 😉 T

3 For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures, 5 and that He was seen by Cephas, then by the twelve. 6 After that He was seen by over five hundred brethren at once, of whom the greater part remain to the present, but some have fallen asleep. 7 After that He was seen by James, then by all the apostles. 8 Then last of all He was seen by me also, as by one born out of due time.  A quick Gospel, reminder of what it is they should be focusing on.  What they should be sharing with ALL others.

9 For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. 11 Therefore, whether it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.  Paul is not one of the 12 apostles that walked with Jesus in the flesh. Yet he does the work of the apostles and Jesus, bringing all the Good News, transforming lives. Paul admits he is not the same as one of the 12, that he actually has little right to call himself that because of his own persecution of Christians. (He held the cloaks of those who stoned Stephen). Paul proclaims the miracle of God’s grace, the intervention that turned Paul into a possibly ‘louder’ voice than any of the 12 ever were for Christ. 

12 Now if Christ is preached that He has been raised from the dead, how do some among you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?  Some Sadducees must have infiltrated the Corinthians. 13 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ is not risen. 14 And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also empty.  15 Yes, and we are found false witnesses of God, because we have testified of God that He raised up Christ, whom He did not raise up—if in fact the dead do not rise. 16 For if the dead do not rise, then Christ is not risen. Paul is arguing that they can not have both beliefs, dead not resurrected and Christ resurrected because it is not logical. 17 And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins! Mans false doctrine is interfering with the Truth.  18 Then also those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. 19 If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable. Christ’s resurrection is a necessary of Gods plan for us

20 But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, all man dies physically and spiritually because of sin. even so in Christ all shall be made alive. In the resurrection of Christ, His ‘making’ it happen, allows for those that believe in that to ‘BE’ that.

 

CONFUSING!!! : The ‘But’ belongs to all(believers) shall be made alive23 But each one in his own order:  I think this is a list of the ‘order’.

1)Christ the first fruits, afterward those who are Christ’s at His coming. 

2) 24 Then comes the end, when He delivers the kingdom to God the Father, when He puts an end to all rule and all authority and power. 

3 )2 For He must reign  till He has put all enemies under His feet. A5ll those that are against Him/God are enemies, unbelievers, demons, Satan.

4)  26 The last enemy that will be destroyed is death. Physical death and eternal separation from God

27 For “He has put all things under His feet.”But when He says “all things are put under Him,” it is evident that He who put all things under Him is excepted. 28 Now when all things are made subject to Him, then the Son Himself Jesus will also be subject to Him God who put all things under Him Jesus, that God may be all in all.

29 Otherwise, what will they do who are baptized for the dead, if the dead do not rise at all? Why then are they baptized for the dead? I think he is pointing out the inconsistency of their beliefs/doctrine. IF there is no resurrection, then Christ can’t be salvation. And if dead don’t resurrect why are you doing this ritual of being baptized for those who have died and were not baptized before death. If you believe no resurrection it does dead not good.   30 And why do we stand in jeopardy every hour? 31 I affirm, by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily. 32 If, in the manner of men, I have fought with beasts at Ephesus, what advantage is it to me? If the dead do not rise, “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die!” This is a bit like my argument against the new(old) universalist thinking, IF everyone eventually believes and is reunited with God, even after physical death, what is the point of telling Gospel and living a righteous life? “Eat drink be merry, die and get a bit burned in hell but you get out so go for it”….

33 Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” 34 Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.  Don’t listen to the lies!! Don’t associate with those who are false teachers, elders included. You don’t become like those you don’t hang around with. 

35 But someone will say, “How are the dead raised up? And with what body do they come?” What if someone is cremated? 36 Foolish one, what you sow is not made alive unless it dies. 37 And what you sow, you do not sow that body that shall be, but mere grain—perhaps wheat or some other grain. The seed of an apple is basically from a ‘dead’ fruit, and it produces a massive tree. 38 But God gives it a body as He pleases, and to each seed its own body.  What I become after physical death will be what ever God makes me to be- I will be awesome!

39 All flesh is not the same flesh, but there is one kind of flesh of men, another flesh of animals, another of fish, and another of birds.40 There are also celestial bodies and terrestrial bodies; but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another. 41 There is one glory of the sun, another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; for one star differs from another star in glory.  Biology, spiritology, science. God created all, in their own form

42 So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. 43 It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power.  Man is flawed by sin of this world, our ‘new’ selves will be glorious 44 It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. 45 And so it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being Human/Man the top of the family tree.” The last Adam Christ became a life-giving spirit.

46 However, the spiritual is not first, but the natural, and afterward the spiritual. 47 The first man Adam was of the earth, made of dust; the second Man Jesus is the Lord from heaven. 48 As was the man of dust, so also are those who are made of dust; and as is the heavenly Man, so also are those who are heavenly. 49 And as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly Man. 50 Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. Our sinful selves don’t get to ‘be’.  51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed— 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”  Those who believe in Christ, His birth, His death His resurrection His purpose. Get to ‘BE” made new and continue with God. At the second coming those believers will not experience physical death

55 “O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?”

56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law.  57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Our spirits/souls exist forever. It is where that forever is spent that we must decide. Do we go our own way, choose our own path, ignore the truth or change it to fit our comfort zone? Deny Christ and His resurrection and be stung by Death and reside in Hades? Or do we choose God, His Way, His Light, knowing that Jesus’ victory over death is ours for eternity with Him. 

Posted in 50 in 50 days

Mamie- One of My Moms-3 Days to 50

50 years ago God brought me in this world and  saw that I needed some help.. He knew two of my mothers just could not, or would not, be what He needed them to be, for me. 1. BioMom. 2.Mom. So he gave me two more ‘Mom’s’ Mamie and Mamaw (my Mom’s mother)– This is the story of Mamie.

My dad was a football coach the first five years of my life,  in De Leon. Dad retired coaching and went into his ‘masters’ and taught math and principled, and we left DeLeon.  My mom taught grade school .  I was pretty much ‘raised’ by others, except in the summers.  I was adopted in April, and I believe my grandmother took care of me until the end of the school year in May, then we moved from Borger to DeLeon. Mom and Dad, had me my first summer of 63 ,and all the summers of my life. I think Mom may have had a perforated ulcer that summer, or maybe just before, so she was probably convalescing during that time and not doing a lot of ‘bonding’.

Mom was not the ‘motherly’ type, not the housewife type, not the submissive wife type.  Mom did not cook breakfast, ever, that I recall. Lunch was sandwiches. Dinner was ‘Supper’ during the week, and it was probably out of a can, or a T.V dinner or another sandwich. We did have Sunday dinner, either canned ham, or meatloaf, or BBQ chicken(chicken with bbq sauce poured over it and put in oven) These meals are remembered AFTER De Leon. I honestly do not remember any meals in my De Leon home . Pretty sure I ate, but I can’t promise anything.  I only have 3 real memories of myself in the house in DeLeon- Sitting in the sandbox outside, watching Dad pick peaches off of a tree. Being stuck to the carpet by a wire doll necklace that was piercing my finger, everyone had gone outside, I thought I would bleed to death ;). Sitting in the hall by the back door looking through my toy box for my favorite doll, and Mom telling me she threw it away, cause it was dirty.

Most of my first five years were spent at Mamie’s house. Mamie Wilkerson was my baby sitter, my care giver, my nearly Mom. I spent September through May, Monday through Friday, 7 AM to 5PM with her. When I was an infant I spent some Friday nights with her, while my Dad coached, my Mom supported, my Kirk ran the bleachers, and my Mike played the tuba. Mamie had me 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I learned to walk with Mamie, learned to talk with Mamie. Mamie’s husband, ‘Pop’ died just after I turned 2, so I don’t remember him, Mamie said I would sit in his big chair with him and he would sing me songs and blow smoke rings and count them.  Toddler antic stories of me are from Mamie. Pulling toilet paper through out the house, me in my walker.Going to help Mamie pull down the laundry ,in the snow, me putting on my own coat and zipping it up, but forgetting to put on my shoes.  Mamie fed me breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. Cooked eggs. Snapped green beans, made a pot for lunch. Mamie would make a batch of peanut brittle every week (De Leon is peanut country), grease up the linoleum table with butter and pour the hot liquid out onto it, and when it cooled would have DeWayne (her great-nephew, who some times stayed) and I break it up. Sometimes the sugar shards would poke my fingers and make them bleed. I learned to cook from Mamie. Mamie and I would walk downtown to the store for groceries. Mamie did not drive, but really did not need to. I learned to do, to make do, to do for yourself.  If she needed to go further, she would call her daughter and she would take us. Mamie worked in the nursery at the Baptist church, sometimes I would go with her, if my parents had some school event or ?. In the front room of Mamie’s house was this picture.51FcTqe1xLLIt kind of scared me, the darkness and the children being alone, Mamie found me crying about them one afternoon at nap time. Mamie is who taught me no matter how dark things get, and they will get dark, or how alone I feel, I am protected, I am not alone, ever.  My up to 5 memories are at Mamie’s with Mamie.

Scan 197
Don’t know her, Kirk,Mike, DLana,Dwayne,Me
Scan 196
DWayne,Mamie,Me

I have pictures of birthdays 1,2,3,4,5  , but the only birthday party I actually remember, prior to moving to Abilene is with Mamie. In her house. My family was invited ;). Bill, Mamies son,  his wife Shirley, Mamie’s granddaughter DLana, and grandson , who was also Kirks best friend ,Marnie were there, and of course DWayne. I wore my favorite short suit, denim mid drift with red bandana ruffle and matching shorts. I remember swapping between Dad and ‘Uncle’ Bill’s laps and watching the water condense on the outside of the metal tea glasses, as everyone sat around and talked and laughed. I learned to be a hostess,and to enjoy family times.

I looked up Mamie on Find a Grave.com- I found some details I did not know about her. Mamie was 15 when she married to Riley, who was 30. I know now why he died, it was time for him. Mamie was 61, when she started caring for me, grandmother age, she kept me till she was 66. Details, that don’t change the impact she made on my life. Details that do show me education, money, genetics, prestige, refinement,age, those are not what matters. It is the heart, it is the soul, it is the want to love and care, and instill character for a child, even one that is not your own, that makes a mother.   Everything I needed to know I learned before Kindergarten with Mamie. 😉

Posted in 50 in 50 days, Exhort Pray Praise...

April Fool? 5 days to 50

It is April Fools day- Which to me always means my birthday is just around the corner– YIPEEEEEE.

I have survived a few foolish things in my 50 years.  More than I remember. I have made unwise choices. >Things are Happenin...

Those foolish decisions I recall brought me injury. Physically and mentally. I have slide down driveways, skidded across a road in a bikini, had little leaches ALL over my body, bounced around in a rolling Pacer, had stitches from toe to heel, broken my wrist, lost my favorite white pants suit, spent the night cleaning up my best friends Jack reeking puke from my parents bedroom, said yes when I should have said no, said no when I should have said yes, sacrificed my integrity all to ‘belong’, trusted in man instead of God, said things out of anger, had 1,2,3,4 too many. ignored wise counsel, put it off till tomorrow, left the gate open, spoken when I should have kept quiet, been quiet when I should have spoken, got fat, flown across the room with greatest of ease, pet the wrong cat, taken a wrong step…….. I have been the fool.

Some of the foolishness I still deal with- The weight, the aches and pains from the breaks, those I have hurt with my words remember, I have scars from being a fool.

It has been said that to call someone a fool will send you to hell :

Matthew 5:22  But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

Those that use this scripture this way are wrong, fools.  Jesus is basically telling everyone to go the extra mile here. The Law still stands, still should be practiced, but not just to get brownie points. Not only do we not murder because the Law says, we love others, we curb our anger, our judgement, because we are lead by the Holy Spirit, because we believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior.

IF Burning in hell were the result of all who pointed out the foolishness of others, then David, Solomon, Peter, Paul and even God would all get scorched.

Psalm 14:1The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good

Psalm 74:22Rise up, O God, and defend your cause; remember how fools mock you all day long

Psalm 92:6Senseless people do not know, fools do not understand

Proverbs 1:7The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 10:18Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.

Proverbs 13:19A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil.

Proverbs 14:7Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips.

Proverbs 15:7The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not upright

Ezekiel 13:3This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to the foolish prophets who follow their own spirit and have seen nothing!

Isaiah 32:6For fools speak folly, their hearts are bent on evil: They practice ungodliness and spread error concerning the Lord; the hungry they leave empty and from the thirsty they withhold water

Matthew 23:17You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred?

Luke 12:20“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

Galatians 3:1You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified.

1 Peter 2:15For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.

1 Corinthians 15:36How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies

If I continued to choose foolishly, to not abide to my God, to stay stupid, to choose the world, MY way- I would be the condemned fool. If I did not know what a fool I am without Jesus Christ-My eternity would be HOT.

Posted in 50 in 50 days

46 days to 50- Age Old Question

What is my purpose in life? This is a wonder I think we all have at some point in our lives.

The  happenings of life,struggles, success’, trials,births, failures, tragedies,  deaths, interventions, blessings, the ‘Wonder Why?” of lives. 50 years of wonder has given me answer. 50 years of wonder has given me the reason for my happenings. To make purpose of me.IMG_1635

The purpose of life is to glorify God.Isaiah 43:7Everyone who is called by My name,Whom I have created for My glory;I have formed him, yes, I have made him.”I do that by becoming what He intends me to be.  He is the potter I am the clay. Isaiah 64:8 But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand.  The happenings; His hands on my life, my yeilding, or not, to His molding, the water, the temperature, the air flow, the glaze, the firing,all of this is what makes me. The difference in me and clay, I have a choice to conform-Believe,obey,abide.

The Negatives and positives happenings are necessary to make our purpose.

James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

It is Satan that brings our doubt. Satan/the world has taught us that no good can come from the bad. This is not true.This leads to hopelessness.  We have to put away that way of thinking ,that doubt   Ephesians 4: 22 to oput off pyour old self,6 which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through qdeceitful desires, 23 and rto be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on sthe new self, tcreated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. And once we remove the doubt we can literally do all things.

 Matthew 21:21So Jesus answered and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ it will be done.

My being adopted is a happening,God purposed to make me me.  Satan has used it to throw (wonder)doubt of my need for existence.

Why didn’t my bio mother keep me? Why did I have to be ‘abandoned’? Why do I exist, since my own did not want me? Am I an accident to even God? If I am then I was not intended to be. What purpose is there in me, in my being born, if no one wanted me anyway?

What a bunch of crap Satan has dished out in doubt!!  God planned me even if my bio’s did not. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God created me on purpose Psalm 139:13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

For purpose Colossians 1:16b all things were created by him and for him Ephesians 2:10 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them

My adoption has shown the purpose for 50 years.  I can preach the value of, the meaning of unconditional love, because I received that from my parents, my family. I know what that is.  I know what it is to be adopted to become what you were not born of. I understand the relation  believers have with our adoption from sin/Satan to our Father God.  I have witnessed the mighty hand of God in His reaching past mans laws and choices to bring my bio’s and me together. I know reconciliation as the prodigal son. I know faith hope and grace because of my adoption happening.

Trial happenings in : Evan  born with congenital deformity, and more. Kirk dying 6 weeks later. These trials added to the at least monthly dashes to the hospital with Brian’s ‘attacks’ from, what we years later found were, esophagus spasms from ulcers from untreated celiac. The  question “Why does God do bad things to us?”  was presented to me sometime in the midst of this. Had it not been for the happenings of great mentors (Mamaw, Mamie, Dad) and teachings from God in the past  I would not have known the answer. God does not do these bad things. God does not cause the ‘bad’ on purpose, but he does make purpose out of it all.

Evan. He has purpose, is purpose, gave me purpose. He was predicted to be exceptional even before he was born, none expected that included him being ‘less than perfect’ by the worlds standards.  That lack of worldly perfection has shown me, and others God measures perfection by different standards than we. I learned God speaks audibly, I just have to listen. God speaks, sometimes I just don’t understand. That does not make God wrong, nor me. I just need to learn to understand. What he says, like Evan is not always what I expect, but it is right. Evan asphyxiated and died and was brought back to life, 3 months after his cleft was repaired. I was on my knees in my home, as the paramedics were trying to find an airway, I cried out “ You just gave him back, why are you taking him.” God responded as loudly as those calling out from the bedroom, that they had an airway “ I am not TAKING him, he is always mine.” God speaks, in volumes. This statement meant more than Evan was now breathing.

Kirk dying at such a young age, was not what God desired for him. But ,choices made, led Kirk’s physical life to end here.  God saw the whole picture, Kirk reached his purpose with God. Kirk is eternalScan 125, the love he had from and of God will exist in his art, his music, our hearts, his daughter and grandchildren. John 10:27 nMy sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 oI give them eternal life, and pthey will never perish, and qno one will snatch them out of my hand  My fears of death were relieved as I mourned my brother, and wondered if my 6 week old son would survive.  God makes a purpose OF our tragedy.

The happenings of my children. Gives me purpose.  God showed me his purpose for me and my existence, his perfect purpose and design for my children,  in each conception. There was opportunity, before marriage for me to have become pregnant, I had ‘unprotected’ sex before I was married.  My son’s were each conceived through 1 ‘try’ without protection. With each pregnancy a prayer was for each to have exceptionally beautiful eyes. Each do, and each exceptional. Lee has almost black eyes deep and always smiling,IMG_3186 Brian has hazel eyes, huge with gorgeous lashes, brian and his 3Evan has  blue eyes framed by dark black lashes.DSCF3014  I prayed for my third baby to have O blood, not wanting him to suffer through the ABO factor my other two did, because their being A and myself O. Evan has O blood. My happenings have taught me prayers are answered no matter how small. Ask and I shall receive.

The Celiac/gluten intolerant gene that courses through our blood, a happening that has effects for myself, my son, my family and everyone that I can reach. The years of searching for a diagnosis and cure, strengthened our faith in God. We learned we could not, should not depend on man to heal, the great healer is God and the doctors only a tool. I see the miracle in Brian’s health and growth in spite of horrible illness The strength and courage God placed in that little boy was inspiring.  God gave me the desire and will to accept this life change, as a positive, for us all. We have been given many opportunity to share and support. Lives will be changed, maybe even saved, because we have been blessed with gluten intolerance.  John 15:16–1716 You did not choose me, but zI chose you and appointed you that you should go and abear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that bwhatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

The house that God built. Building our house happened. We were given the opportunity, the resources to build the house beyond our dreams. God placed the idea in our hearts. He educated us in Financial Peace. We learned to rely on God for everything; the sell, the profit, the workers we hired, the weather,the 5th wheel we found comfort in for a year, the design of the home, the materials we bought. I literally stand on the firm foundation everyday and know HE is my Provider, my Rock.

Life could have happened differently. Bio’s could have married and kept me. Mom and Dad could have ‘taken me back’ at the 6 month trial time. Kirk could have laid on the couch instead of going outside and falling in drive. We could have ignored Brian’s illness, and just pumped him with meds. I could have skipped giving Evan the food he choked on. But that is not how it happened. God knew that before it began. God knew the wrong decisions I would make, the few right ones too He knew the hurts I would suffer. God has provided the fixes and strengths all the while to make me a vessel for Him.

The ultimate strength, the major happening,  is the snoring lump I wake up next to every day. I would not be without him. He really does complete me and I him. fall 1980Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  16 years into my creation, the Potter added Keith, at the lake in cowboy boots and a swimming suit.  I was weak and mushy making all kinds of bad decisions and pretty much alone, I needed someone, I needed direction, I needed strength, so God added Keith, the polymer to my clay. Of all of the happenings in my life Keith is the only one that would not have happened differently. Maybe a different time or place, but I know Keith and I were planned by God specifically. Eve for Adam, Sarah for Abraham, Rebekah for Isaac Christy for Keith… all planned specifically by God, for God.IMG_2315 My purpose on this earth is to be Keith’s, his lover, his helper, his irritant, his support, his adored, all for the glory of God. Ephesians 5:23 (23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its SaviorDSCF3002

PURPOSE: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists

The REASON God threw me on that wheel 50 years ago?

Ephesians 14 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.