A friend and I were speaking of ‘Wolf Criers’, having some in our lives. Wolf Criers put the listeners in a tough spot. Is that their intent to cause listeners distress and guilt? Or are they solely concentrating on themselves and getting attention for themselves, with absolutely no awareness of the issues they cause others.
Evan cries ‘Wolf’.
to get off of work, wanting to hang with his gamer friends instead of doing his work.
to get attention. I think being ‘sick’ as a child makes one a bit more ‘needy’, it conditions one to be used to the extra attention.
because he is lonely. Attention, again, but in a different way. Being sick, having something that needs to be fixed gets him out of the mundane everyday and into appointments and questions and conversation directed to him and about him. Evan has two gamer friends, and they don’t really miss him if he is not there. He is lonely.
I have told him the story of the boy who cries wolf many many times. For someone like myself, this story had a great impact on me to NOT inconveinience or lie to others. I hear the story and see the ruin of reputation the boy caused himself, the loss of character. The boy hurt the others by lying and deception, sheep died because of him, the people no longer respected him, he brought shame to his family. Then there are the others, who hear this story , they see opportunity. Opportunity to deceive and get continued support. They see that concerned caring people will not abandon them to be eaten by a wolf. They see that the rescuers know that they are being used and abused, but still come a running,
Evan is not the worst Wolf Cryer I know, have to deal with. Evan is learning disabled. Some of Evan’s reasoning is, at least, immature. I don’t give that to Evan as an excuse though,I do consider. I just am not sure if he can always reason into the relm of what his actions DO to others, and what others think about him because of them. I am responsible to Evan, so I do not accept ‘Wolf’ from him. But what about other “Wolf” criers who are not brain damaged?
So,back to the questions. A bit more in depth though. People who cry “ I have a problem, help me help me. I need help. I can’t because ….. I am in danger because….. I am sick, I hurt” and their ‘issue’ is not as dire as they claim it to be.
Do they actually think they are dying? Do they actually think there is no way out? Do they have no perception of what is really dire circumstances?
Do they realize potential rescuers feel responsible when someone reaches out to them? Do they KNOW who will feel responsible and those are who they call on?
Does a Wolf Crier get a sense of power when they get someone to come running? Do they get a chuckle at making others concern over nothing to concern over? Is part of the goal to get the rescuer to choose them over their other responsibilities?
Is the need for others to look at them so strong that they are truly willing to be considered a lier and lose all respect? Do they consider what they are doing as deception?
Does a Wolf Crier create their own problem for attention? Maybe not at first, but once receiving attention, do they put out bait, to cause a problem (wolf)? Do they mess up their medication? Overspend just before the water bill is due? Eat wheat when they know it will make them ill? Do they feign chest pains, shortness of breath, something that can not be seen on the outside, that MUST be considered an emergency, because they KNOW it must be considered an emergency?
One more question. Is the hearer wrong to not respond to Wolf Crier? To walk away after knowing there is no wolf?